The One Question People Keep Asking Me About My Divorce
It was August, and the echoes of our college-bound son leaving for his second year still lingered in the air. It was during that fateful weekend that I made a life-altering decision. Upon returning home, I wasted no time and initiated a divorce. Unfortunately, my escort service in Vasundhara reaction was far from amicable.
I should have been prepared for the storm that my husband was about to unleash and for the one question that would repeatedly surface from concerned friends and family. However, I wasn't.
The prior year, we had already spent a year apart. But when our son graduated from high school, my husband presented me with a troubling ultimatum, or perhaps it was a manipulative move, depending on how you look at it.
"If you don't let me move back home," he declared, "I won't send our son to college."
In the end, I allowed my escort in noida to return home, a decision I would later come to regret deeply. I wasn't naive; I realized that when he uttered those words, he had been out of the house for eleven months. I suspected he might have strategically moved back in before the one-year mark in case we decided to divorce. Despite this, I rationalized my decision on two fronts: I didn't want my son to bear the consequences of my decision to separate, and I convinced myself that men who return home might genuinely desire to salvage their marriages.
Deep down, I believed that my husband had a desire to work on our marriage.
For a little over a year, my husband and I coexisted in an uncomfortable and strained manner. However, it was during that particular weekend that I unequivocally realized our marriage was beyond repair, and I refused to continue down that painful road.
When I informed my husband that I had hired a lawyer, he immediately resorted to withholding food money. As a stay-at-home mother, he had complete control over our business and home finances.
This marked the beginning of the relentless questions from those around me:
"I can't believe your husband refuses to provide food money for your children," one friend exclaimed. "Doesn't he care about his own kids and what they think of him?"
"I can't believe your husband canceled your health insurance," chimed in another friend. "Doesn't he care about what your family thinks?"
"I can't believe your husband isn't paying the mortgage, and you're receiving foreclosure notices," added yet another friend. "Doesn't he care about his reputation?"
"I can't believe your husband is threatening not to send your son back to college again," echoed another friend's astonishment. "Doesn't he care about what his own son thinks of him?"
The recurring question from everyone I knew was, "Doesn't your husband care?"
The answer was a resounding no.
My husband didn't care.
He didn't care about our children's feelings or what my family, his extended family, our friends, or the community thought. His profound lack of empathy meant that he was incapable of comprehending or feeling the pain or emotions of anyone other than himself.
A narcissist like my husband is only attuned to their own pain and emotions.
To the world and to my friends, it seemed incomprehensible that my husband didn't care. Believe me, it was equally baffling to me. However, it was this indifference that allowed him to unleash a torrent of abuse on his own family to achieve his selfish goals.
If you find yourself grappling with depression or anxiety due to ongoing emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist, know that you are not alone. Domestic abuse can affect anyone and is not a reflection of your character or any wrongdoing on your part.
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